I had a really weird dream last night.

Several weeks back I had a fight with my good friend over a wedding. The trigger of the fight is a wedding, her wedding but what made us become totally losers was because we both were selfish. Thought that I was right with my reason and she also thought the same way that she was right with her reason as well. nevertheless, we ended up “not talking” anymore. I tried to sms her one day. She used to reply back even that message was so unimportant and lame, but she never reply back. So I guess that was it. I did tell her that I am going to be her good friend whatever happen to us, but I don’t think she accepted that. so be it!

Anyway, out of nowhere, last night a had a quick dream about her. I couldn’t remember where I was and in what occasion I was. But what I do remember was she and I were in the nice suit and dress – a fancy and class ones. and… we hugged.

For many years I’ve been dreaming of hugging her. I guess it won’t never come true because of our fight. and for that matter I guess that hug was the only one that I got from her. It was a dream. but it was so sweet dream and warm. I woke up with this huge strange feeling. I feel empty and I feel undescribeable happy and mellow.

Hope she’s happy where ever she is…

Right now, I am in the middle of my work building a web application for a small non-profit organization in the earth. But I’m having thought to take a break a little bit while, refreshing my thoughts.

Speaking of thoughts, I guess at the moment my thoughts never far away from a particular person who has the name Zooey Deschanel. So I probably crazy to think that it’s the tme to share what I really like about Zooey. Some of them, for me, are beautiful coincidences because who would know?? And I suspicious that “people” up there are palying around with me.

Things that I like (go along with my dream)

Music

The number one that I really like about her is that she’s really into music. She said her music is the way she can express the true Zooey Deschanel. Knowing the fact that she was really written her own music from she was a kid and furthermore she begin to self-record her songs by the age of 20. Her music is a combination between indie pop and country, it can be seen quite clearly from couple of her songs in her first album, Volume One.

Country, I started to like this kind of music since the country that I like kicked me out and I had to go back to my homeland. It was (and still is) Australia, and the moment when I had to go back I just realized that Aussie music has a strong influence with country genre. I started to listen and liking it and since then I adore country. So it’s kinda surprising me that this girl also choose country as a part of her music. As for me… it’s a cool coincidence!

I have a dream that someday I have someone that can sing and play music so we can write songs together as we’re going to present those for the whole wide world. I’m not saying that the girl should be Zooey, although it would be wonderful if we could write a song together. On the other hand I believe this is what make me have a crush on her. If only she didn’t into music as much as she did now, I probably would think that she just as the same as those common hollowood actresses. Therefore, I won’t give a damn thing about all these.

And if you notice, almost of Zooey’s movies were involving a great deal of music. Sometimes she involved her music within the movies such as Winter Passing with her sweet melody of Bittersuite. And very likely, as she was enjoying it, she sang in her movies.

Black Hole

Although, frankly, the very first time I listen to her songs in Volume One, I didn’t get the vibe. Kinda weird and quirky, if I may say so. Then after couple of times trying to absorb what’s really in her songs I get the rhyme, eventually. The first song that I feel that it was a cool one is “Black Hole”. I intriqued with this song even before I listen to it is because of the title. I admire astronomy, that is why everything which is realated to astronomy would be an eye-catching things for me.

The time I started to get the vibe to that song, I wonder whether I am the one who really crazy liking it. Then I sent the song to one of my good friend. Surprisingly, she loved it from the first time she listen to it. I thought she was joking but she was bloody serious. Right now we are planning to play and sing it with our own way. And still this song is my favourite one from among other songs.

On-Stage Performance

Maybe I’m wrong with this one, but evertime I saw Zooey on the stage, her performance always…. not attractive. I’m not saying about the her appearance because she obviously know how to dress up with her own way. On some level it pretty unlikely for an actress like her doesn’t have sense of on-stage performa. What I am trying to say is, when she was on the stage she just standing in front of the mike and sing and just sometimes nodded her head follow how the rhytm of the songs. I read some of them said it’s kinda boring performance and Zooey is very suitable to sing in a place where all the audience are sitting while she performs.

For me, I think Zooey’s on-stage performance was pretty amusing, reminding me of my very first time be on a stage – I played guitar, just standing in one spot , tense. In regards to her gig as an actress, Zooey is an exceptional. I found that lots of actors in my country who are chosen to spread their wings in music industry after got famous with their role in bunch of movies are doing that merely just for the popularity. And when they perform on a stage they become over and exagerate because they knew they are famous. I trully disrespect them! So, watching Zooey’s “humble” performance always make me smile and proud to her. Such a wonderful person she is. Not to mention she always bow her head in a such a manner of a lady after she sings on the stage.

Range of Voice

I’m not really sure what the type of voice does Zooey has, but I guess it’s not a soprano. Anyway, I always have the feeling that my range of voice is very different because I tend to find cool songs which are not in my range. So if I want to sing it, which is unlikely, I had to transpose it. Change the key in a way I could sing them, yet sometimes it doesn’t make much sense (I mean after I transpose the song). But for Zooey’s song, I don’t need to transpose the songs. It fit just perfectly – well, I ‘m still a bit lower, but I still can reach the high tone that she was singing. Wonderful isn’t? And not just Zooey’s songs but also every songs that I’ve heard she sing them, just like “Baby, It’s cold outside”. The character of her voice also amazed me, deeply…

Name

Ever since I flew down to the land down under, I amazed that most people over there have unique names. and since I am a big fan of uniqueness, it becomes my deepest interest up till now. And not just amazed, I honestly liked and loved these people because they have name that I’ve never heard before.

So, guess what, the name “Zooey” was extremely unique. I’ve never heard that name until I came back from Australia and watch her movies “Bridge to Terabithia”. Since I am obsessed with unique name, I can’t tell you how happy I am to find someone that loves music and has unique name. It’s just like two of the greatest obsession of mine combined into one and embeded in one person. I guess magic does exist…

Subconciously, if we say her name uncorrectly we might end up pronounce it, “Joey”. Do you know what that word/name means? Joey is a baby kangaroo. Do you know where we can find a kangaroo? Yes AUSTRALIA!!! So, this does make me really exited! again, cool coincidence, eh?

First Love

Appologize if I say over and over again about Australia. What can I say? This country has become my turning point of my new life, new era, and new obsession, passion, and fantasies. and for the start, no, she’s not the first love that I am about to say to the following.

There was a time in my life that I chose not to fall in love with any girl in the world. She was the one and even she dumpped me and I had my black-est and darkest era of my life. Short story, Australia had finally open my mind about new love. I met this woman and I can’t deny that I had a crush on her. It was like a magic! moral message: Love is everywhere, just never ever give up to it.

I told all my good friends about this new love until one of them change her name a bit (not really sure on pupose or not) so it does look cute and I’m using it as my password in couple of my account on internet (I guess that’s abit of clue for those who wants to hack my account).

so sweet, so how this relate to Zooey?

Good question. After I got back to my home land, I begin to know Zooey, admire her music, and bla bla bla – you must be bored with this. And until someday I want to know zooey better, then I googled her and ended up in Wikipedia. Then, I was extremely surprise when I finally read her full name. It came quite shock to me that she has the same middle name with my first love in Australia! Some of you would think this is a coincidence. Sure, I don’t really care because in that case, for me this is a beautiful coincidence…

Style and Accent

Now that I know about Zooey, I distinctly remember that the very first time I saw her was on the movie Elf. But just like other actress hollywood, I only noticed her as a common hollywood actress. Cute yeah, but nothing more. Then after years and years, I saw her movie again: “Bridge to Terabithia”. There, I found her totally different. I always want to be a teacher, and she played as a teacher. and not just a teacher but music teacher. BAM! It goes me right in the middle of my heart.

And and, she was not just music teacher but the way she played in that role… so bloody cool! Her style was so great. I can’t describe how cool she was. Although I am pretty sure would think that it was nothing extraordinary from her. Ok, I have no problem with that. but I still disagree with you.

The way she speaks also make me think she is really cool. Since I was a kid I really want to be able to speak just like her. I think the coolest way to speak is the way just like Zooey speaks. I get this not after I know Zooey but years away before I even set my foot in the high-school. So watching she speaks it’s just like finding a burried treasure that I have been wanted for so long.

Zooey’s style of “sarcasmistic” is also amusing me so bad. Before Zooey I adore Chandler Bing from serial TV Friends who was a person with a high level of sarcasm and love to make jokes with lots of people. I guess on some level I consider myself as a person who has a gift of sarcasm. But I’m not quite sure I do have it, though. And when I saw several of her movies, such as Flakes, Failure to Launch, Yes Man and The Go-Getter there are scenes that she spontaneous hit the other cast with her hand (for Flakes, she was using a pillow). Guess what, my dream of a girlfriend before I paid attention to this Zooey girl was just exactly like that. I like messing around with people especially with my closest person, and when I was being mischivious to her, she responded with spontaneous act like hit me or something. Zooey was such a perfectly match. But again, they were happened on her movies. I just kinda hope off-stage she also has that habbit, because it’s funny and (again) endearing

Hair

Have you seen Zooey’s true hair? Man, so messy, swell and weird. but I like it! I think it’s funny and “endearing”. Hahaha!

If you haven’t, check this youtube video.

Big Round Eyes

I am not a racist, but I’ve never interested to take girls who look like Chinese. Again it’s not a racist, but it’s just I have this feeling of person who has big round eyes is quite charming. And yes, Zooey has it! and not just zooey, I have a nephew who was 2 years old by the year of 2009, and he also has this big round eyes. He’s really handsome ! Therefore everytime I look at him, my mind fly over to Zooey. It’s a weird way to remember someone, but it’s really working. Almost every day my nephew come to my house in the morning. It was his routine, and I always play with him as I am his closest friend (I guess). So, probably it would sound scary but because of him I remember Zooey almost every day. It’s an honest genuine behaviour. I appologize if someone get scared….

Mind (based on her interviews and movies)

I never met zooey in person but based on her movies an interviews I kinda like her thoughts. From her, and buch of charaters that she played, I learned that in this world we ought to do what we really love. Go after what we are wanted to and never doing what you do for a favour of money. Don’t make money to become the priority in our life. Take all the interesting oportunity as we only live once. She did mention these idealism on some of her movies, namely Flakes, Winter Passing, and Yes Man.

As for her, she likes to chalenge herself for role that are different from one each other. Even though she admited that, but I am pretty sure that the first thing that she see when choosing the role is whether the movies has got anything to do with music. If you have ever listen to Zooey’s music you will find out that the music is probably close to the era of 60s. Quite far from what is really mainstream nowadays but I believe she wasn’t really care about that. She just loves to play music and singing. Therefore the silver lining learning from her life is that she does choose the things that she likes and stick to it. Awesome!

Things that miss-match with my dream

Lips

When someone asked me the question what do I really see from agirl, I would have the answer: her lips. I believe we can see the beauty of a woman from her lips. Of course I do have my own criteria that I justified as a pretty ones. However, Zooey’s does not fill in these criteria. True that some of her movies did make her lips look so wonderful but the real one… I still don’t think she has the beauty of it. Although, I like her smile. I guess on some level I generally like to see people happy.

Movies (half of them??)

Apparently seveal of zooey’s movies had a scene where she kissed another cast or even made love with them. Not that I against it – in a free mind of people behaviour- because I  understand that it’s probably something common in her country or the place where she live – but not mine for sure. I don’t know.. probably I was just jealous. Though I really hope that she didn’t choose the movies only because they had the “making love” part.

Anyway, I’m not here to judge her. She obviously knows what she’s doing and it looks like she’s a responsible woman.

Brunette over blond

Speaking of dream woman of mine, I always have a thing for a blond girl. I think having a golden hair make people look charming. Unfortunately it’s an exceptional for Zooey. When I saw her interview on letterman show, she didn’t look good with that blond. I haven’t seen all Zooey’s movies even though I’ve planned to watch them all, but Zooey looks really good and pretty in blond when she played on Elf.  Furthermore, Zooey admits that the genuine colour of her hair is brunette and she likes to be brunette and not blond. Bummer!

Location

Zooey is not coming from Australia. I fall in love with the country because lots of things. and to be honest I’m not a big fan of United States. I’m not even interesting to go there, or be there. But this Zooey girl was born in US and live up there. *sigh* I just thought that it would’ve been nice if Zooey was aussie.

But small good news is that Zooey has blood of irish and france. Therefore she has a blood of european, which where the australian – not aborigin – were coming from.

Eyes Colour

I don’t meet an acquintance of western people that much, but I do have a friend when I was volunteering in australia who has a beautiful blue eyes. With her, for the very first time I saw directly with my own eyes of a person who does have blue eyes. I like blue because it’s calm. Unfortunately Zooey’s eyes aren’t blue. Yes some people say that her eyes are blue, but I don’t see it that way. I think Zooey has more like a greenish eyes with a little bit of blue. So they aren’t totally blue just like Nicole Kidmans’ (hope I’m not mistaken).

Alright, it’s time to end up this meaningless post.

I was imagining Zooey someday googling her own name and end up reading this post. If that’s really true then I would be so much embarest. I feel like being in the bottom of the bad-est people and make other people get scary. Although I never deliberately intended to do that. Not to mention there are so many gramatical error in my writing and miss-typo. *sigh*… such a lame me…

You know what, if someday I had chance to met Zooey – which probably the chance is one to a gazillion times – I’m gonna act cool. Although I might cry inside or something, but I just don’t want to scare her nor be a such a looser. So, yes play cool!!!

I have been watching the movie Winter Passing like million of times . and now its the time to make a small review and share my opinion about it. Let see how good I am in writing a review.

Winter Passing is a story about a family problem. Resse Holdin,  an actress who lived indepenedent in New York City, had parents that apparently didn’t treat her properly just like the way she wanted to be treated in her childhood life. She came to NYC just because she want to get away from her parents. I guess she was angry of them, and this probably the reason why Resse didn’t come to her mother’s funeral.

Both Resse parents were writers, a successful novelists. However, it seemed that they didn’t have time with Resse. Brilliant people but extremely bussy. Because of this childhood, Resse grew up and become a wreckless kid. She used drugs and her mood always sad, lonely, and angry. Resse’s journey was began to change when she met a reporter that interesting with her parents life and asking Resse about the letter that her mom wrote to her dad while she was still alive. But Resse never interested with everything about her parents.

After couple of consideration, Resse finally decided to help the lady reporter to get the letter that she was asked to. She went back home to the place where she was grew up, even she didn’t want to. The only reason why Resse was willing to do this is because the reporter promised her a great number of money.

So there she was, back in her old neighbourhood where she was greatly surprise about everything that have been chanced within that house. Her dad was no longer living inside the house, instead he was living in the garage as he wanted to. Resse also wandering about people that were living inside and taken care of the house. These people were Corbit, who was a totally stranger who her dad found him one day sleeping in the front of the house, and the other one is Shelly, who happened to be a former students of Don Holdin (Resse’s dad). She had been staying there ever since her parents died and she had a endomitriosis.

Resse found her dad so awfully pathetic. Even worst than her condition. He was drunk, weak, and looked so frustated. Bourbon was the closest friend of him.

Resse was cool with Corbit, on the other hand she think Shelly just a girl who tried to get her father’s heart. She hated her.  Furthermore  I think Don also putted a great attention to Shelly which had an impact to Resse in jelousy because Don never gave that much attention to Resse when she was a kid. However Resse started giving Shelly a chance when she finally found shelly medication under the bed, and her dad explained to her of what happened to Shelly. When Shelly was really sick he was the one that Shelly had. As for the return Shelly -with Corbit- was the one who taken care of Don.

Resse eventually found what she had been looking for. A box of her mother’s letters that she left them for Resse. Resse curiosity was on as she then read most of the letter until finally she knew what happened to her mother. Her mother was killed herself by hanging tied in the study room. Resse was so shocked receiving that news. After everything was clear, Don and she had a father and daughter talk. and not in the good and pleasent talk. Resse was swearing a lot and Don had to cut her out by yelling at her. Resse was getting frustated even more.

After Shelly and she had a pleasent conversation about Resse’s mother suicide, Resse realized that she might need to talk to her dad again. Then when she went to the garage, she found her dad was in the floor, crying about something that she didn’t understand. While she said to her dad that she wanted to talk more, her dad asked her nicely to leave him alone.

Couple of days after, Shelly and Resse were coming to a bar where Corbit played his music on an open mic as Resse told him to do so. Three of them had really great time until they got home and Resse found her dad lying on the floor unconciously. They took him to the hospital. When her dad was still not awake, she read the fresh new novel of her dad that he told corbit to hide it.

Don and Resse had a pleasent heart to heart conversation after Don awake from his unconciousness. She was appologize of her behaviour as she now understand that her mum and dad had been trying the best they can for their beloved daughter. She also now understand that her dad become so desperate because he felt so lost about Resse’s mother. And he felt this lost as much as he felt the lost of Resse who left him.

This incident had made Resse decide to trade her mother’s letters to her father’s novel. She digged a hole in the back yard of her house to burry her mum’s letter and she left to go back to New York with “a novel by Don Holdin” in her hand. I’m not really sure whether she published the novel or not, but I guess she did.

My Opinion

A good thing that I can pull out from this movie as a reflection to Resse’s character is that even though she was hating her parents because of her miserable childhood, she still called her mum and dad “mommy and daddy” at the very first beginning of the movies. I guess thin indicates that deep down her heart she still loved her parents.

Other thing is, she might had a looked of desperate girl and without soul, but she  still nice to each other, she hugs a person that really care about her. I guess “loose soul” does not mean loose heart.

I really do enjoyed the movie and also the music. I believe the music also speak for itself that the movie was totally awesome. The moral message that we can get from the movie I think quite clear which is…

“sometimes  you go looking for what you want… and find what you need”.

As I was surfing the net, I ended up in a community of Live Journal, if I’m noot mistaken. There was a news about Zooey Deschanel. I read it, and loves Zooey’s “wisdom” at the end of the writing. Here, I copied of what the news has reported.

“I would rather be a songwriter than be an actor,”

I’m not so surprise with this one as I already have a hunch that she prefer to sing than play in a movie. Well, I guess the good thing is my opinion about her was right. and I am totally glad it is match.

“I’m grateful I’ve been so fortunate to have success as an actor, but being a songwriter is just creatively so satisfying. I know this is silly because I’m 28 years old, but this is all new to me, to be playing shows—there are people who know the words to the songs and are singing these melodies that were born in my bedroom. It’s amazing to me to give them a life, and they go and live on their own. I feel like that’s sort of some little microcosm of what parents feel like with children.”

It’s really amazing me that she has this kind of perspective. I bold those word that I think those are very cool. And Zooey was right. Giving other people melodies and rhytms would make their live became so much brighter and colourful. Therefore, to that extent, could also give them a life. To be honest, her songs do fill me with new soul, new life, new the way of thinking. In addition, some of her words on her movies also quite often slap me in the face. I learned so much about seeing the life in a different way through her movies.

Zooey and I don’t have a huge different in age. I was born in 81 while she was in 80. But clearly her mind is developed way far ahead than mine. That is why I admire her.

But knowing Zooey also bring my painful memory back. I always want to have a girlfriend who can sing and play music. This is why I get easily fall in love with girl who can sing. I want to create song with my girlfriend or my wife one day. And I did have a girlfriend that I used to think that she was the one. But she left me…

I guess the thing that I missed being with her so badly is when we did many things together for other people. Surprisingly, one day we finally created a song together. actually there were 2 songs, but I couldn’t remember the second one. We wrote that song in campus while we were hang out at fourth floor on the yard of our student association office. I distinctly remember I played the chord while she was doing the lyrics and melody. And the truth, I’d never came up with the melody as beautiful as she was made. It was a very awesome day. But now, seems to me quite difficult to have those days back.

Following Zooey track with her band She & Him has made me so envy. If my girlfriend and I had never broken up we probably would have the same career with She & Him. But I don’t know whether that dream would still happen to me sometime in the future.

This is probably never make any sense but I want to play in a band with zooey. I do also admire her voice. I think she would be really good singing jazz, just like the one she sang Hello Zooey in Raving. She does have a character of her own voice.

Well, the silver lining here is that I really greatful to have a chance to know Zooey Deschanel even though we’ve never met an acquaintance. And above all that I just want to say, many many many thank you, Zooey! Keep being a songwriter a cheering people with your lovely songs. You are the true artist!

Enough rambling around!

uh, btw, yesterday I just finished to write a score paper of one of Zooey’s song: Bittersuite. You can download it by clicking the following picture. I wrote it down using “Music Write 2000 Professional” as I have a lousy background of music theory. Please let me know what you think about it. And, if you find some notes which are not in correct tune please let me know. Thank you…

bittersuite zooey deschanel score board

PS: if you want to know what the sound like, I can provide you the MWK format. just let me know where should I send it to.

Today, I went down to my parents house in Lippo Karawaci. It’s been two weeks since the last time I went there. As a usual, my intention to go there is a little bit cleaning the house. “a little bit” here means that I only seep the floor. Well, I wanted to do more, but I guess my status as unemployement person in the eyes of every people that I know has made me feel quite stress and force me to create something. So, sweeping is the only thing that I did in that house and then tried to found references about things that I would like to write later.

Finish sweeping, I sat in the desk where I usually did to write and start writing about things in my head. At that time was about web security: vulnerability and threat. I had been writting my material and reading my references while I was listening to the song that Zooey sing in her album: Volume One. I was so amazed with Zooey that time. And not just when I was writing, I did that too as I was sweeping the floor.

Zooey zooey and yes, zooey again….

Enough staying in the house I drove to the nearest supermall. I parked in the basement, I searched for new headset in Duta Suara, I passed starbucks but I didn’t go in because darnit I had to go to the bathroom. I looked for the bathroom. found it, use it and done! Next, I went back to the startbucks and selected a muffin and ordered ice tea. The situation was silence, what an odd because usually there’s always music in that place. Oh well, who cares!

Then I paid for my order and while waiting my muffin and ice tea, suddenly I sort of heard the sound of guitar which palying the intro that I was pretty sure that I knew the song. But I wasn’t really sure. As I tried to get to find the seat the song start to sing,

“I don’t like you… but I love you….”

Holy God, it was the beatles song (as I recall) and the song was re-arrange by She & Him by M. Ward and ZOOEY DESCHANEL!!!

what an odd coincidence! So I just laugh there. Didn’t understand what that means, but as usual if something unexplaineble happen to me I always say thank you since it always brighten up my day. So yeah, thank you Zooey! and thank you for this beautiful councidence, my dearest God. I know you were up there and smile at me..

You know what, a minute ago I just finished listening to the song “why do you let me stay here” and surprisingly starbucks also played the same song!!

Again, thank you…

Damn, I just realized something that I was in the public place and I accidently mention one of the email password of garage foto crew. I said it loudly when I was instructed my friend set up the email clinet using Thunderbirds on the phone. Darnit! I guess the thing that I wrote was right:

Although training could be one of the effective method to reduce the impact of information security breaches, but human stupidity is still unstoppable

Even though I checked and scanned the area where I was sitting and speak on the phone, and mostly of them are drivers, but still how can I trusted them? what if one of them aware of this secret information as password? And since the person that I was talking to was not that care about the password as it has been set so easy and can be easily broken using dictionary attack.

Lesson Learned:

1. Never ever speak the word “password” in the public area.
2. It’s always better to use password which is not easy to break using dictionary attack

I was watching the movie Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince the other day. And the movie to be frank not really made my day. I didn’t read the book since I don’t want to get dissapointed too much as lots of my friends told me that the movie ruining their imagination and impression which they got from the book. So I prefer to wait for the movie instead read the book. well, that’s also proven that I am very lazy person, though.

When I read the title once the movie was started, I said to myself that this movie is going to be so cool. because well, why wasn’t? The title is so interesting me and the last movie of HP was so extremly awesome with all those special effects. But sadly, my expectation apparently is too big. Two things that I expected are gonna be so cool on the movie seems to let me down.

I didn’t see any new effects and/or fresh technique from the movie. Essentially, all effects have been appeared in the previos ones. And the “half-blood-prince” itself also quite dissapointed me. At first I was fascinated with the book which HP found that it was belong to the Half-Blood-Prince. And I though the movie was gonna explore the book just like when he found the diary of Tom Riddler. Also I though the mistery is coming from the book since it has lots of the half-blood-prince’s hand-writing. But unfortunately, I was mistaken. From my point of view, the movie was not exploring the Half-Blood-Prince, but as usual, it was all about the history of Voldemort. And I don’t see the close connection between HP or Voldemort with HBP. but that’s just my impression. Maybe I have to watch it one more time to be able to see the conection. but not read the book, though.

However, aside from my disapointment, the story was awesome! the mistery still there. The thing that fascinated me the most was when Prof. Snape killed Prof. Dumbledore. My brain keeps telling me that Snapes was not the bad guy. IF both of them didn’t have a small conversation before HP and Dumbledore went to find the Hucrox, I would believe that Snape really the bad guy. That small scene and talk had made me think the opposite way because I believe the 2.5 hour movie was too short to elaborate all the details that the book has. In that case, all scenes in that movie must the the important ones, even the smallest one.

Comedy and humor are still exist in the movie especially coming from Ron. It made it fresh since the character of Ron is a an innocent boy. However, if I may say, the acting of Daniel Radcliffe was not that good. And some of my friends agree that his face was too nice for the character of harry potter. But I absolutely liked it with the scene and behaviour after HP drank all the luck poison. I think at that time, he act so natural. Maybe he was to be meant to play with that type of character. Or maybe because the producer and the director can’t make the scenes look good. But, what would I know? I’m just one of those people who enjoying the movie.

As a final note, before I went in to the theater, I heard several people are really dissapointed with the movie after they got out from the theater. “The movie was not good” or “I don’t understand what was it about”. Those are some impressions that I accidentally overheard from the people who had watched the movie. They can’t be blame though since it was completely different with the previous one. But I believe the book is awesome as it gives detail story.

Well, I just hope the next one would be way much better than this one. And what I mean by better is with cool use of special effect. And as overal I still think this movie is worth to watch. Only don’t expect the cool visual effect that much

Dear Z,

I guess my birthday this time kinda unusual with all the previous ones. I got tons of birthday wishing. And over 90% of those greeting were coming from facebook. well, not from facebook, but my friends on fb wishing me using fb. yeah, you know that already. Only 1 of my friend who wishing me using sms, which is I found that to be so weird since this guy is active in facebook community.

Well Z, I’m 28 now and so don’t want to grow old. now I think I understand the feeling of people who stress being old. I know, I know you probably would say 28 is not that old but.. hey, at least I feel it that way before you do. That make me become special person, right Z? I think I can imagine how you want to slap me soo badly.

Anyway, the good thing of facebook I guess it reminds me that I’m not alone and lots of people out there remember of me. although some of the wishing I don’t know where the hell it was coming from. I guess from now on I have to get rid of the thinking that I am alone in this universe. I guess things are indeed different now, but my friends are still there out there. This is gonna be so hard for me Z, I wish you can feel just excatly how I feel. But well, you and I are completely different. Different in everything. and probably the only thing similar with us is that we are human.

Oya btw, even though I got lots of wishing, still I celebrated my birthday alone. you know what I did? I went to a cinema. I watch Transformer 2 and it was on premier. hehehe… I spent around US$5 to watch the movie on premier. this was my first time. Well, there’s no harm for me to spoil my self, right? Yknow, just like when you spoiled yourself by manicure and pedicure, or probably went to salon. yeah, you know, that girly stuff you are usually do. As for me, this is how I spoiled my self. Geeez, by talking like this I feel liek a girl already Z. NOOO!!!!

Alrighty, that’s all from me. So, how are you doing Z?

Warmest hugs from me..

So, I finally officially moved in to other house after lots of hesitation whether I should moved here or not. But last night there was a thing that made me think about how rekless I am.

As a human being and a person I always struggle with my idealism. Recently, well started couple of years ago I guess, I was thought that I really into children. I loved them, and I believe that I could be a good guider for them as I often made them laugh although I did it behind their parents back. And it happen also when I was staying in Australia. I was so fascinated of the children, caucasian children. Well, I’m not racist or the like, I just hade this obsession of white people, especially the children. Anyaway, back to the topic. Once I came back to Indonesia, I was luckily to be able to see my nephew. Yes, it was an amazing moment. At first he’s like afraind of me, since I’d never seen him for a year and a half, sort of.

And in short story, him and I were that close only by short amount of time. even closer between him and his parents. When I had to go away from him or went back to my home, he often cried because I was leaving. weird stuff, when I was with him even when he was with his parents, when I had to take off, he cried, but when his parents had to go, he kinda.. less-care. I did realize this aint good, I don’t want to take her from his parents. But I dont want to stay away from him all the time. he was the one that helped me went through my hard time. he always made me laugh, and cheered me up so I evidently forget about everything what I had, which is my trouble. well I can say, he made my trouble left behind.

this was happen for about two months, more or less. And till last night, I went down to his house with my sister, because his dad wanted me to check out is computer. And one thing led to another, I was realized that I should stay away from him, because everytime I was around, he was excited and forget about other people surrounding him. was that a good thing? for days and over a motnh now I always thought about that. sometimes I do feel guilty because of this situation. Maybe my sister was right that I spoiled him too much. But this kind of thinking was not a new thing for me. I did realize that. but I didn’t. I didn’t spolied him. All I want is him to cheer all the time. laughing, playing, and things like that. was it wrong that I want to make him feel good all the time. And I do want him to close with me. I’m not close with my dad, so I just don’t want me not close with my child. But then I realized that he is not my kid. And I don’t want to take him from his parents. I watched a movie couple of days ago. It was called “Charlie and Me”. very touching movie, I guess. Just like Charlie, never for second in my head that I want to take away this kid and I want him to close with me rather than his parents. But, I guess he and I had some similar things, and that what made him enjoy being with me. Well, at least that’s what I thought. myabe I was right, and maybe I was wrong. who knows what’s right when it comes to the feeling of a kid.

I felt really awful with this, and maybe if I keep staying there it’s gonna be hard for me not to play with him, because he’s so irresistable. So, starting from today I moved house. a little bit far so I limit myself in seeing him again. I’m scared to be honest with this situation. and perhaps this is the best for him and also for me. and as for me, I’m back to have no one who can cheer me up. I failed and I have been beaten by the situation. Painfull, indeed. I felt so rejected. It’s kina weird that in my own country I’ve been rejected, but in australia, even though someone say to me, “you like a weed, not native. that’s why you can’t stay here. you have to go back home”, I didn’t feel rejected at all. I’m not saying australia is better than Indonesia or even praise it, I’m just describing what I feel.

Sorry for the selfishness…

Imagination can create any thing what you’d wished for

I guess this is a simple conclusion that I got from the movie Bridge to Terabithia. At first I thought this movie would look like Narnia or any dozens of magical movies that came before this. Unfortunately, I was completely wrong. Although, this movies did have a magical sense, but the journey itself was not about the war and fight that was happened in the world of wonder land. 

I saw this movie was more showing the side of friendship and family matter. This what thouched me a lot. Having a bset friend was really important in our life because they can make your life change. It can fulfill the emptiness in your soul. You’ll have someone to share, to talk, to laugh, to fight, and to tease for. Especially when you were a kid, having a best friend I think would be the right momnet. Because what I see, when we grew up and have to live our own life – have a family and job – , best friend would only be just a friend. 

I always think that I have never had a best friend in my childhood. But I guess it depends on how we define what bestfriend is. I do admit that I do have some good friend, but best friend? I don’t know! would it because I didn’t feel that I have someone who is able to fulfil my emptiness? I guess this thought confuses me with the concept of a girlfriend. 

I was started to think about what bestfriend is when I was still in my undergrad. That time my role model was Timon and Pumbaa from the movie of Lion King, Lion King II, and Lion King 3. and learned the phrase from timon, “friends stick together to the end”. Timon and Pumbaa were a very true friend. they need one each other. And to be frank, I always need my friend yet none of them need me the way I need them. 

I guess at certain point I was so frustated and then I more liking and enjoying playing around with children under 3 years old, animals, and plants. With them I can talk and share my deepest feeling, eventhough they’re not understand excatly what I had been through. Well, it doesn’t really matter, actually. But being with them have always been a wonderful moment for me. I was in a place where I can find all those things, but now I have to back to reality and I do feel lonely. Perhaps, because of this I am so stress although I don’t show it in the front of any people that I know including my family. especially my family. 

I always though that everytime I feel this way, I judge myself spoil and egois. sometimes I do cry in my room, wondering and praying that someday my life would change back just like I was in australia, which means I could hang out and mingle with my very best friend: the nature! My land of Terabithia…

I’ll wait for that time to come…